The Circle Of Strife

The Circle Of Strife

By Spacedteacher

When I first came to China I was a normal , fun loving , healthy American female with blond hair , blue eyes and white skin. After ten years in China I am perpetually confused , I have high blood pressure, my hair has turned white,my skin now appears yellow to me and my eyes have glazed over and spin in a counter clockwise direction. All of this is largely the fault of my Chinese students. My daughters tell me I’m beginning to look Chinese. They also tell me they can’t understand me anymore. I’m considering whether or not to be frightened by this. I’ve not made a definitive decision as yet.

In Chinese Mythology their country is known as The Middle Kingdom. They believe they are between Heaven and Hell. In their way of thinking China is paradise on Earth while waiting for St. Peter to open The Pearly Gates. O.K. O.K. that is not the way the Chinese would express it but for a Western audience that is what they mean. Curiously they don’t even seem to consider the concept that since they view their country as between Heaven and Hell that perhaps they are not The High Church of Chinese Humanity but rather The Honky Tonk on Hell’s Highway. In any case I have a different name for their country. Considering that they live in their own chaotic twisted little universe I have named their country The Middle Cosmos. Buckle up Javshi it’s going to be a wild ride.

In America life was far easier with regards to life’s mundane chores than here in China. Here if I want to do even the simplest of life’s chores such as grocery shopping , local traveling , restaurant dining , laundry etc a meeting of The Committee of 17 { Local Branch }must be convened to discuss the matter in a subcommitte.It may be dangerous after all to let the lao wai / foreigners loose in our cities to go shopping. This meeting may last anywhere from twenty minutes to three months depending upon how close to a meal time it is when you initially ask or possibly even more depending on the perceived complexity and danger of the given situation. Once The Committe of 17 {Local Branch}has made their decision they then must kick it upstairs to the National Committe. If the National Committe concurs with the Local Committe they then consult with The Ghost of Chairman Mao. If the Ghastly Apparition concurs then I may proceed according to their strict instructions and ALWAYS with the threat of " step out of line and the man will come and take you away" shadowing my every move. If the answer is no an atom bomb wouldn't change their minds. At that point I would let my Yankee Ingenuity take over and solve the problem without even telling them. That's probably what the " lao wai " should always do but there is a danger in that philosophy. They will not be pleased if they catch you. You may become an involuntary organ donor. It's generally a wise decision to at least try to play by their usually inane rules.

Ahhh the good life / hao ri zi. Those of you with the Chinese experience understand. Those of you that don’t have the Chinese experience I invite you to come visit or better yet take a working vacation and come teach for a year or two.

Once that charming and intoxicating Jardeen rose touches you you’ll never be the same.God works in mysterious ways. I’ll get those damn Christian magazine publishers if it’s the last thing I do. lol