The Kleveland Kracker Korner
Dear Friends :
This is D.D. speaking. Yesterday was my first full day in Hanghzou so since I got a good night's sleep the previous night I decided to go urban exploring. I asked the hotel for directions to West Lake which is the most famous tourist attraction in Hangzhou and is world reknown. If you ask the Chinese people where they'd like to live if they were free to choose 95 % of them would say Hangzhou. They view it literally as Heaven on Earth. Marco Polo said that Hangzhou was the most beautiful and elegant place on Earth. I was excited to take a look at it and form my own opinion. I packed my bag with all the necessary supplies and off I went for a day of urban exploring.
There is a saying in China that the Chinese nation is made up of 56 flowers. What it means is there are 56 different ethnic and religious groups that comprise the Chinese nation. The largest group with about 88%of the population are the Han. About 40% of the Han are extremely Nationalistic and have Nazi tendencies.Taking that into account I've combined their ethnic name and their political views and coined the term HaNazee. Yes yes I know that HaNazi would be far more easy to understand. That is exactly the point. The HaNazee are extraordinarily vicious but not overly bright so HaNazee is better for all concerned. The second biggest group is the Hui people. Now as far as I can determine the Hui ethnically are the same as the Han. They certainly look the same. The difference is religious with maybe a few minor cultural differences. I was about to meet some Hui folks.
I walked for about 5 minutes following the directions the hotel had given me and started noticing some what I thought were strange things for China. I had a feeling that I knew where I was but I walked on for a few more minutes anyway. About 5 more minutes and I fell upon a beautiful building that I was curious about. The architecture was very unusual for China. I was fairly certain I knew what it was but I wanted to be absolutely positive. That is when my rational American mind took over and said " Well ask somebody Dumbass!!! " So I did. That was a HUGE mistake on my part. I keep forgetting that I'm in China where the rational mind has no place in society. I pushed onward. There was an older Chinese gentleman standing in front of the building so I approached him and asked him in Chinese what the building was. Apparently he didn't understand Chinese. In fact he didn't understand MY Chinese which is strange in my opinion considering my Chinese is understood in the province where I live.I'm told by Chinese people that that is not unusual in China. It seems that although they all can speak Putonghua , the national language , every region of China speaks it with a different accent which effectively makes it nearly impossible to understand Putonghua speakers from other areas of China. I digress a bit. There was another Chinese gentleman standing nearby that did understand me. I was correct. And that's when I made my serious error. Now PAY ATTENTION Pilgrim what I'm going to tell you now may save you a severe beating or worse. I then asked this question " Allah zai jia ma xianzai ." Well the two Chinese gentlemen got highly agitated and let me know they didn't appreciate my humor.They didn't do anything to me physically because violence is truly against the Chinese nature. There were however two young foreign men of what appeared to me to be Middle Eastern descent standing nearby that had overheard my interactions with the Chinese. They had quite a different attitude than the Chinese gentlemen. They informed me in perfect English that jokes were not allowed and let's just say they made it clear to me what would happen to me if I persisted. I was not afraid mostly because I had great confidence that even though I had inadvertantly insulted them they would not allow a foreigner to be assaulted in their neighborhood over such a thing. Not being afraid I did not apologize. No insult was intended anyway so--. Not wanting any confrontation though I just kept walking.
Well you've probably figured out by now that the Hui people are Moslem and that the building that so interested me was a Mosque. Well Stanner you are asking by now I'm sure " What the Hell did you say to them?" " Allah zai jiama xianzai " means " Is Allah / God home now? " The Muzzies have ABSOLUTELY no sense of humor. lol
Friends I urge you when in China make absolutely certain that you know where you are at all times. It will never occur to the Chinese people that sending Americans into the Moslem areas is probably not a good idea. If you should happen to stumble into the wrong area as I did and say something inadvertantly without even intending insult the Hui people will not be pleased and they will let you know. I'm very confident in saying that they will not harm you physically since it truly is against the Chinese nature to do violence but should you happen to stumble upon some foreign Muzzies as I did then all bets are off. You ALL know how the Muzzies are.
EXERCISE EXTREME CAUTION !!!
To these particular Middle East Muzzies and to all Muzzies in general I have this to say. I'm going to put you on the list of groups that I discussed in my article " Get Over It " and just tell you to do exactly that. GET OVER IT . Now I realize that that is probably going to take you quite a while to do that since the vast majority of you are STILL living in the 7th Century so you should have plenty of time to take a break and do the following :
Kiss my smelly infidel ass you heathen savages!!!