The Kleveland Kracker Korner
BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!!
Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. -- The OTHER CNBC
Dateline : The Cracker Riviera , Coastal Carolina , The Great And Mighty Cracker Nation Oct . 9 , 2011
Mr. Paul Stanner . The Head Saltine of The Great And Mighty Cracker Nation made a rather unusal political speech to his citizenry today. The content of that speech is as follows below :
Dear Citizens Of The Great And Mighty Cracker Nation recently an Oath Of Allegiance Ceremony for some of our newest citizens at which I spoke was held . At the conclusion of the ceremony a reception was held to honor our newest citizens. While speaking with one of our new Minority Crackers , Mr. Cedric " Yogi " Powell , I informed him that in our nation the politically correct term for a Minority Cracker of his etnicity was " Burnt Cracker ". No sooner did the phrase spill from my mouth than the phones started ringng off their hooks and the Drive By Media started demanding a comment. There was one phone call in particular that my secretary , Queen Yes Dear , insisted that I answer --- NOW !!! Now you all know how Executive Secretaries can be if the boss doesn't do exactly as she tells him. Having vast experience dealing with Queen Yes Dear in these matters and knowing thusly the consequences of my actions should I ignore her instructions I obeyed. On the other end of the line was a highly agitated Mr. Joe Snuff , The Minister Of Minority Cracker Outreach for The Great And Mighty Cracker Nation. He informed me that the politically correct term for a Minority Cracker of Mr. Powell's etnicity was " Well Toasted " NOT " Burnt Cracker " . He also asked me rather bluntly if I was a complete and total fuckwit. Ladies and Gentlemen here in The Great And Mighty Cracker Nation , unlike Obamanation , the buck stops with The Head Saltine du jour which would be me in this case. This was NOT George Bush's fault. Please let me assure you that I meant no offense to Mr. Powell or any other Minority Cracker of any ethnicity. Let me also assure you that my offending behavior will cease immediately and permanently. Mr. Powell you have my apology.I have great faith in our Cracker People's strength of character and spirit. I'm certain that no damage was done to Mr. Powell. " Yogi " is a BIG Cracker , he'll be fine. I now consider the matter closed. There will be no further comment. Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers. "
WOW !!! CNBC wonders what would happen if all leaders took responsibility for their actions as Mr. Stanner did? Talk about your brave new world !!! lol Could somebody please put Mr. Stanner's speech on POTUS's Teleprompter?
Reporting from The Cracker Riviera for CNBC Conchita Esmeralda Perez Arago Ritz.
Please be advised that ABSOULTELY ZERO Crackers , Well Toasted or otherwise were physically , emotionally , financially or spiritually hurt in the writing of this story. The photos below are of Minister Joe Snuff on the far left , Cedric " Yogi " Powell in the middle and " Yogi's " Squeeze on the far right. They look unharmed to me. What do you Crackers think?
Flour to the Crackers !! We SHALL bake !!
Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!
Greetings from The Cracker Riviera.