The Great Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Tx. She’s beautiful , charming , sexy and DEADLY!!! She’s A Sugar Assassin ” Havana Day Dreaming” or ” The Havana Sugar Cartel Strikes” In Dec. of this year a rather elderly but alert gentleman by the Name of Mr. Barton Park of Sweetwater , Texas began receiving,anonymously, baked goods from bakeries all over the country. Mr.Park being a diabetic and a naturally suspicious man,and ever mindful of the extremely difficult security situation his country was facing as a result of the events of Sept.11,2001 did what all good Americans would do. He called the authorities. In this case that was the Sugar Awareness Police A.K.A., known affectionately we hope, as the SAPS The SAPS are Federal Agents under the direct supervision of The Cracker Nation Department Of Domestic Security. As a consequence of this heinous attack on Mr. Park The Cracker Nation Department Of Domestic Security has declared that all bakers and confectioners are to be considered Domestic Terrorists until further notice. All citizens of The Great And Mighty Cracker Nation are strongly urged to approach all bakers and confectioners with the utmost caution in all dealings with them. The case was assigned to me as the Lead Investigator. My name is Major Dee Mentia. An investigation was launched. Preliminary field intelligence seemed to indicate that vile , despicable , nefarious , evil terrorist group The Havana Sugar Cartel was behind the attempted assassination of Mr.Park. We have no idea why they would want to assassinate an elderly retired gentleman such as Mr.Park. I assure all citizens that we will get to the bottom of this though . What we do know of the Havana Sugar Cartel is that they employ assassins,known as Sugar Assassins,to do their dirty work. In a rather cruel and ironic twist the Sugar Assassins always use sugar in one form or another to kill their victims. Since we now know that there is a Sugar Assassin operating in the Sweetwater Tx. area we urge all citizens of Texas to be extremely vigilant!!If you should go out to dinner in the immediate future you might want to think carefully about ordering that apple pie or carrot cake. We ask for the cooperation of the public at large in the on going investigation.If you have any information that may pertain to this investigation please feel free to call us at our toll free hot line 1-800-THE-SAPS or leave your tips in this forum as comments. Do not worry The Kleveland Kracker Korner is a secure site. They have TOP SECRET or T.S.15 security clearance.You needn’t be in fear of your identity being leaked or of any information you give us being used against you. In the coming weeks and months I will bring you up to date on past developments as well as current ones. In the meantime be—— HIGHLY VIGILANT!!! The BASTARDS are EVERYWHERE!!! Major Dee Mentia Lead Investigator{T.G.S.A.C.S.T.} Area 61 Maple Sugar Country U.S.A. 1-800-THE-SAPS majordeementia@yahoo.com www.klevelandkrackerkorner.com The Great Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Texas ” and all characters ,places,plot lines , mythology or ANYTHING else even REMOTELY associated with it are the intellectual property of Spaced Teacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used for ANY purposes without the express written permission of Spaced Teacher. “The Great Sugar Assassination Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Tx.” while obviously the victim of a great deal of literary license by the author is based on true events. This actually happened to a diabetic friend of mine. To the best of my knowledge he never did resolve the mystery. This was a cause of great concern to him. The names have been fictionalized to insure the guilty from liability be that criminal or civil and to protect the author,me against a Sugar Assassination attempt. That damn Havana Sugar Cartel is VICIOUS!!!!
1 Comment
1/12/2013 07:31:23 am
It's not just Cuba, either. They're in cahoots with that damned state of Louisiana; the home of gumbo, Huey Long, the Mafia, huge alligators, huger mosquitoes, riverboat gambling, Ray Nagin and (gasp) the Sugar Bowl. They don't call it the Sugar Bowl fer nuthin'. Lousyanners sprout more sugar cane per acre than I do hairs on my butt.. Why? And why did they make Mister Park an express victim? Because they hate Texans! We show them up in every way, all the time... and they can't stand it. That's why they've formed an alliance with Cuba against us. Within this year, I fully expect to see MiG-29's with Pelican State markings invading our airspace, sowing our sacred soil with a snow of saccharine. This is WAR! By Jove, before we're done with them, Baton Rouge (which means "reddish mud bar") will be nothing more than a bitter memory. Our bombs will take out the Mississsippi river locks- causing the river to wash down the Achafalaya; drowning all the Cajun suguerrillas and leaving the Big Easy a salt water marsh. Nothing left but skeeters, gators and wild pigs! ARRRGGGHHH!! Oh, yes. The Galveston Mardi Gras will become THE Mardi Gras. BTW: Texas is derived from an Indian word meaning "friendly", in case that wasn't plain already.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
August 2017
Categories
All
AuthorGreetings from The Cracker Riviera. |