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BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! Dateline New York City Nov. 15 , 2011
The Cordoba Center in N.Y.C. is currently under attack by flying pigs. Two Piper Cubs are making repeated passes over the Cordoba Center in N.Y.C. and are bombarding it with Jimmy Dean Breakfast Sausage Links to cheers from all the N.Y.C. Crackers. The head Muslim In Chief has ordered the 7th Air Force Fighter Wing to shoot down the offending "terrorists." American pilots however are unable to answer the call due to the fact of their prolonged hysterical laughter
Stay tuned to CNBC for more details in this story as they emerge. Reporting live from N.Y.C. for CNBC Connie Chung Flour to the Crackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!
Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!!
BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! Dateline June 29 Homeland Internal Security Dept. Area 63 Cracker Nation Somewhere , U.S.A
General Mei Leize The Director of The Homeland Internal Security Dept. has announced that the perpetrators of the recent attack on The Cordoba Center / Islamic Mosque in New York City have been identified thanks to the excellent work of Major Dee Mentia the Leader of The Honey Pies who are Cracker Nation's all female anti terrorism SWAT team. Field Intelligence obtained by The Honey Pies as relates this patriotic group indicates that they are an as yet small but soon to be expectedly huge , yet very effective group of anti - Islamic fighters from Cracker Nation known formally as Mohammed's Curse but affectionately known by their supporters as The Porky Pig Brigades , that operate in the shadows of American law and always on the border of good comedic taste. P.C. is NOT considered relevant by the members of Mohammed's Curse. H.I.S.D. Field Intelligence further indicates that the vast majority of the members are devout Christians so consequently are precluded by their faith from acts of violence except in self defense. Their chosen tactics are humor and ridicule such as was on display in the attack on The Cordoba Center in N.Y.C. The leadership of the group remains unknown at this time.
When asked by CNBC for a comment regarding this matter Gen. Mei Leize replied thusly. " Some days it's just so damn much fun to come to work. Thanks for the chuckles Porky's Brigades. To my friends in Porky's Brigades I'd like to suggest that the next time if you don't want to get caught so fast it might be a good idea not to leave the empty pork rind bags laying around. Generally when you are committing a terrorist act it's not a good time for the munchies." Gen. Mei Leize continued her comments thusly. " In the future do stay in touch with us Piglets. I look forward to working with you. We at H.I.S.D. appreciate your help and we see a Medal Of Freedom in your future justas soon as the Muslim Usurper is replaced by an American President. Good luck in your efforts."
When Major Dee Mentia was asked for a comment on this matter by CNBC she commented as follows : " I most assuredly concur with Gen . Mei Leize's statments and would further more like to extend an invitation to the leadership of Mohammed's Curse { Porky Pig Brigades } to please make contact with us so that we may share intelligence about our Dumbass Islamic " Brothers and Sisters . "
CNBC expects that there will be more " terrorist " attacks by Porky's Brigades in due course. Stay tuned to CNBC for further details / chapters in this conflict as they emerge. Reporting for CNBC from H.I.S.D. Area 63 Cracker Nation Somewhere , U.S.A. Brutus Porcine Flour to the Crackers !! We SHALL bake !!
Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!!
BREAKING NEWS !! BREAKING NEWS !! BREAKING NEWS !! Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. -- The OTHER CNBC Dateline New York City August 9 , 2010
Reliable CNBC sources within the entertainment industry inform us that the Cordoba Center / Islamic Mosque located at Ground Zero in N.Y.C. is sparking a buzz of potential business activity from folks trying to cash in on and copy for their own particular styles the unique business models of Kinky Friedman and Snoop Dog. It seems that the next blast from the past act to try and cash in on our Muslim friend's stupidity is " The Village People " . The sexually confused dynamo from the past are said to be opening a nightclub very close to the Cordoba Center called " The Flaming Infidel " They will also be reforming in order to become the house band. Their house theme song will of course be " Y.M.C.A. "
Grand Poohbah Achmed Abdul Aziz Ibn Bin Salazar the Spiritual Advisor and Military Leader of The Safalist Avengers when asked for a comment about this turn of events by CNBC replied thusly : " If you Flaming Infidels proceed with your plans to insult Islam in this manner Allah will banish you to Provincetown for eternity.You will burn in eternity infidel. Why did you people have to ruin the rainbow for everybody?" I think that Ground Zero is going to be a very interesting place in the immediate future. Kinky's " Welcome To The Neighborhood Cordoba Center Friday Night Rockin' With Allah Concert And Pig Roast " is going to turn into THE place to see and be seen in N.Y.C. in my opinion.I also think I'm glad I'm not a N.Y.C. E.M.T. Pyromania coming together with sodomania could get very messy. !! lol Stay tuned to CNBC for more developments in this story as they emerge.
Flour to the Crackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!
Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!!
BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. -- The OTHER CNBC Dateline New York City August 12 , 2010
CNBC Entertainment news has another huge scoop to tell you about today. Snoop Dog will announce soon that he is opening a " Gentleman's Club " near the Cordoba Center / Islamic Mosque at Ground Zero in N.Y.C. When asked by CNBC for a comment regarding his latest venture Mr. Dogg replied thusly. " When my Cracka Brotha Kinky Friedman decided to open his pork restaurant and hold his concerts it made me realize that the Cracka Brotha was onto something. I started to think about how I could cash in on my Cracka Brother's idea. Then it occurred to me that those Crackas are going to be all wound up after a good meal and concert and would want to continue the night. Hell I may be a Brotha and a Rap Gangsta but I'm not stupid. The Cracka Brothers are going to want to look at the ladies. Even Cracka money is green."
Our sources report that Mr. Dogg and Kinky are in negotiations on a cooperative arrangement where they both can make money off this. One preliminary idea that has been floated is a Burqa Lap Dance at Kinky's " Welcome To The Neighborhood Cordoba Center Friday Night Rockin' With Allah Concerts And Pig Roast." For a donation of ten dollars to the 911 Survivors Fund you can get a Burqa Lap Dance from one of Mo's Girls. Admit it now you've ALWAYS wondered what's behind that Burqa!!
There are other ideas being discussed. CNBC thinks this business venture of Mr. Dogg's is an excellent idea. WoW!!!! Kinky Friedman and Snoop Doog now there are two names you don't hear in the same sentence often. Tell the truth now haven't you always wondered what's behind that Burqa? Yes yes I know editorial comments all. We've been through this before. It's MY blog so I can say whatever the Hell I want. Stay tuned to CNBC for further details in " The Adventures of Kinky And Snoop " as they emerge.
Flour to the Crackers !! We SHALL bake !!
Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!
BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. -- The OTHER CNBC CNBC is pleased to announce that we have a monumental scoop in entertainment news to inform you of today.
Reporting for CNBC from Austin Tx. Ben " Jewboy " Shapiro Flour to the Crackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!
Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!!
BREAKING NEWS !! BREAKING NEW !! BREAKING NEWS !! Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. --- The OTHER CNBC Dateline New York City August 9 , 2010
" The Call Of The Faithful " performed by Sam " Toots " Shapiro and his " Sons Of The Shofar
Welcoming greeting from CLOTUS { Cracker Leader Of The United States } Mr. Matt " The Big Biscuit " Morgan
" Second Fiddle " performed by The Gaither Vocal Band
" It's Shouting Time In Heaven " performed by The 72 Virgins Heavenly Choir
" We Ain't Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore " performed by Kinky Friedman and The Texas Jewboys
A Medley of Jewgrass Classics performed by Hiram " Hick " Hinklestein and his " Haifa Hillbillies
" Suicide Is Painless " performed by that fun loving explosive troupe from Damascus , Syria " One Way Ticket "
" Fire ! I Bring You To Burn " performed by that rockin' ensemble from Tehran " The Rockin' Burqa Babes "
An exhibition of belly dancing performed by Fatima Daoud and " The Blue Dress Ladies "
" Daylight Come And Me Wanna Go Home " performed by Minister " Calypso " Louis Farrakhan
" Jerusalem" performed by The Hoppers
A "ya'll come back now hear and thank you message " from Kinky
The menu for this celebration will consist of such classics as listed below : " pig in a rag " " pork shish kabob " baked stuffed pork chops " and The Osama Bin Laden special : a roast pork with hummous ,Syrian bread , tahini and baba ganoush. Please do remember to discard your litter properly since we have been informed by Karen " Cracker " Hopkins Director of The Cracker Intelligence Agency that The Confused Man - Children of Philadelphia A.K.A. The New Black Panther Party will have their " Litter Police " on the scene in order to try to claim that The Great and Mighty Cracker Nation is committing a racist litter crime against The Noble Panther And Other People of Color of America.
See you all there. Have fun To see the previous chapter in this religious epic please click here. Flour to the Crackers !! We SHALL bake !!
Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers
Inspiration for this story came from Crackers Joy , Paula and Madeline. Keep on Crackering Gyno Crackers |
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