In honor of Valentines Day and in the spirit of tolerance towards our sexually confused sisters and brothers Queen Yes Dear Productions , the Entertainment Division of CNBC , is pleased to present a Valentines Day love story with a TWiSt. We hope you enjoy it.

The Sweet Satanic Romance Of Laura " Sweet Pie " Stettler And Holly " The Electric Rose " Hanson { And Maybe " The Texas Tornado"}

Ch. 2

The Stairway To Heaven Hotel

OR

Devil Or Angel

Holly had felt the sparks also so I guess it was no great surprise to anyone that these two Satanically Romantic Ladies were destined to get together. " The Electric Rose " was the one that seized the moment and invited " Sweet Pie " to dinner at a very chic Italian restaurant. Everything was perfect. The food,the wine,the ambience , sparkling engaging conversation and a beautiful sexy lady.What more could a healthy young Satanically Romantic young woman ask of life? " The Electric Rose " certainly knows how to show a stranger her town. " Sweet Pie's heart was pounding a mile a minute with anticipation. Little did she know what " The Electric Rose " had planned for her , this was just the prelude. The real fun was to begin at another venue.

Holly paid the check and leaned over and whispered seductively in Laura's ear " would you like to visit Heaven." Laura damn near fell off her chair she was so excited. They arrived at The Stairway To Heaven Hotel at about 9:30 P.M. Holly arranged for some refreshment to be sent to the room and then she thanked and tipped the bell boy. The lock clicked and then she sprang into action. She ripped Laura's clothes off and threw her on the bed. She slowly and sensuosly set up the DVD equipment. Laura was quite nervous about doing anything on camera.What if her mama saw this video? What if she her strap broke ? She was a bundle of nerves, excitement and wild anticipation. Holly gave her just enough of a peek to keep her interested and then she said to her "Excuse me .I’ll go "freshen up" a bit. Enjoy the wine." She came back in about ten minutes in her policewoman uniform looking all sexy and authoritative. She walked over to Laura slowly and put her under arrest. Laura was laying on the bed stark naked ,handcuffed to the bedposts eagerly wondering what was going to happen next.It wasn’t long before she found out. Holly walked over and gave her a long passionate kiss , laid a blue rose on her chest , put a DVD of "Charlie’s Angel’s" on the DVD player in repeat mode and left. All night long "Charlie’s Angel’s played.It was TORTURE!! The woman may be sexy and beautiful but I can assure you she is DEFINITELY Satanic!! I don’t think Laura will ever be able to have another sexual fantasy about a policewoman!!

At 9:00 A.M. Lupita came into the room.Well needless to say she was a bit shocked!! Fortunately the Gods smiled upon Laura because Lupita had four things she needed. A sense of humor , bolt cutters , a sexy body and personna and a fifteen minute break.I know,I know I thought it was a bit weird that a maid would have bolt cutters too. I guess this sort of thing happens frequently at The Stairway To Heaven Hotel.Lupita had her way with Laaura and then set her free. As Laura was walking out heading towards Holly's Lupita thanked her "Gracias Mi loco poco Fascist. Come again."

The Stairway To Heaven, Holly's house.

Laura left the hotel a happy woman. She also had new found respect for "Domestic Goddesses" and Policewomen. Thank you ‘Pita and Holly{My Rose} she whispered as she left singing " Devil or Angel ".

Devil or angel, I can't make up my mind Which one you are I'd like to wake up and find Devil or angel dear, whichever you are I miss you, I miss you, I mi-i-iss you

Devil or angel please say you'll be mi-i-ine Love me or leave me, I'll go out of my mind Devil or angel dear, whichever you are I need you, I need you, I need you

You look like an angel Your smile is divine But you keep me guessin' Will you ever be mine?

Devil or angel please say you'll be mi-i-ine Love me or leave, I've made up my mind Devil or angel dear, whichever you are I love you, I love you, I-I lo-o-ove you

Devil or angel please say you'll be mi-i-ine Love me or leave, I've made up my mind Devil or angel dear, whichever you are I love you, I love you, I love you

If you don’t believe this story just go down to The Hideaway Lounge and ask for "Sweet Pie" or "The Electric Rose" and judge for your self how Satanic they are . Are they Devil or Angel? That is a question you must ask yourself BEFORE you get too involved. A word of caution though. Be careful or you might end up at The Stairway To Heaven Hotel. Who knows what she might have planned for you. Only The Satanically Romantic ladies themselves know for sure.{Well MAYBE "The Texas Tornado" might have a clue.}Devil or Angel? Who knows for sure?

" The Texas Tornado "

Have fun!!

By Spaced Teacher

P.S. ‘Pita if you have any photos " Sweet Pie" will pay handsomely for them. She’ll call you Mi Sucre N

In honor of Valentines Day and in the spirit of tolerance towards our sexually confused brothers and sisters CNBC is pleased to present a love story with a TwIsT . We hope you enjoy it.

The Sweet Satanic Romance Of Laura " Sweet Pie " Stetler and Holly " The Electric Rose " Hanson. { And Maybe " Tornado " Tex Hughes too }

Chapter 1 :

" Sweet Pie " and " The Electric Rose " Meet

Or

" Tex Likes Pie Too "

" Sweet Pie " was a stranger in town. As it is everywhere in the world strangers are a cause of curiosity and suspicion. She was just passing through on her way to Portland Maine to visit friends She wasn’t seeking companionship or conversation. All she wanted was a hot meal , a hot shower , a good nights sleep and a 7:00 A.M. wake up call. She must have set off a strong spark of curiosity in Tex for some reason. Maybe it was her alabaster skin , maybe it was her sexy almond eyes , maybe it was her long gorgeous hair , maybe it was her sheer nylon clad gams. Who the Hell knows what it was. Tex was a stunningly beautiful albeit acutely shy Texan Lady. Walking up to " Sweet Pie " demurely Tex. started a conversation. After about 5 minutes of small talk Tex told " Sweet Pie " that she was the proprietor of a local saloon and invited her in for a drink and meal. That was how she met Tex and was introduced to The Hideaway Lounge and became acquainted with something far more exciting!! She felt it immediately upon entering. What was this sensation. They had nothing quite like this in Maine . Her antennae were abuzz with unfamiliar excitement and for reasons she didn’t quite understand she felt moisture in unusual places. This was a new very strange and quite pleasant feeling for her. And then she saw her. She couldn’t help herself. "Who is that beautiful woman" she asked Tex. She needed to investigate. Holly's intoxicating seductive scent announced her arrival at Laura's table. If you think " Sweet Pie " was befuddled you should have been there that night. I'm sure it was quite entertaining for the other patrons. For some unknown reason even she didn’t understand she broke into the "Howl Of The Smitten Woman." Holly was Betty Poop curls , Shirley Temple innocence , Angelina Jolie smile , Jenifer Aniston humor , Dianna Krall legs and Helen Hunt sex appeal all rolled into one delightful package. And a buskaa that I swear was made by the Gods themselves. Sexy could not begin to describe her!! Laura was addicted from the outset. She needed another fix. And she would get it soon there after. Thusly did the Satanically Seductive Holly " The Electric Rose " Hanson meet the intoxicatingly enchanting Laura " Sweet Pie " Stettler and the charmingly shy Tex. What a great day it would turn out to be for "Sweet Pie" and "The Electric Rose" If you think an exciting evening like this would interest you I suggest you drop by The Hideaway Lounge. Maybe you’ll get lucky and " Sweet Pie" or " The Electric Rose" will be there. Even if you're unlucky in that regard though don’t despair because you never know who may drop into Hideaway Lounge or when or what may happen. I will be there as often as I can. See you there soon friends Until then goodbye.

By Spacedteacher and Mystery Girl

P.S. " Sweet Pie left the lounge that evening wondering exactly what three handed handcuffs were used for. " Sweet Pie " loves a mystery!!

The Satanic Romance of Laura " Sweet Pie" Stetler and Holly " The Electric Rose " Hanson and all characters,plotlines,places and mythology even REMOTLEY associated with it are the intellectual property of Spacedteacher DBA Bea Wildered Enterprises / Mystery Girl Enterprises and may not be used for any purpose whatsoever without the express written consent of Spaced Teacher / Mystery Girl As usual all names have been changed to insure the guilty from any and all liabilities be they criminal or civil. The characters of Laura " Sweet Pie " Stetler and Holly " The Electric Rose " Hanson are ENTIRELY fictional , more so in one case than the other , and are not based upon ANYONE associated in any way with ANY social networking service. If they tell me to stop writing this story I will do as I always do when their voices in my head speak to me. I will ignore them TOTALLY !! Sometimes you should listen to the voices in your head. They're there for a reason. And sometimes you shouldn't. lol

BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

Dateline : Valentine , Oregon February 14 , 2012

Cracker New Broadcasting Corp. -- The OTHER CNBC

It is with great sadness that CNBC must inform you of the cultural suicide of yet another American icon. Acting on an anonymous tip from a reliable source whom we are fairly certain was a victim of this icon's nefarious hidden agenda CNBC launched an investigation into The Archer Of Love , known more commonly to all of you as Cupid , one month ago. What we dicovered was disturing to say the least. It seems that The Archer of Love is employed by the American Divorce Lawyers Association. He gets a substantial commission on every marriage AND divorce. WoW talk about covering your bases.

And you Dumbasses thought the Archer's sole motivation was " love ". CNBC suspected all along that The Archer was simply following that preeminent principle of America's Founding Fathers." Show me the money. " Yes yes we know that was an editorial comment. We don't care.

Police in Valentine . Oregon currently have The Archer Of Love under arrest and in the local calaboose where CNBC is certain he's about to find all the love he can handle in all the wrong places.

RUN GUYS !! RUN VERY FAST AND VERY FAR!!

Reporting from Valentine , Oregon Cynthia " Muffin " Love

Flour to The Krackers !! Especially the ones in love !!

Now take a break from screwing and go spread your Krumbs around Krackers !!

Good day Ladies and Gentlmen. Bea Wildered Productions the entertainment division of Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. -- The OTHER CNBC in conjunction with Queen Yes Dear Productions is pleased to announce that this evening we'll be premiering a new game show titled " Stud or Dud ". The concept of the show is very simple you'll catch on as we go. Every week we shall have a celebrity guest host. Today's hostess is Queen Yes Dear of The Great And Mighty Cracker Nation herself. And now on with the show.

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen I am Queen Yes Dear. Welcome to our new game show " Stud or Dud ".Without further ado let me introduce tonights contestants.

Our first contestant comes to us from the mean streets of Chicago by way of Hawaii , Kenya and the Madrtasses of Indonesia depening on what time of day it is , who is asking , and the phases of the moon. His hobbies include usurping the highest office of his adopted land , spending millions of dollars to keep his past hidden , sending highly decorated and honorable military officers to jail for no offense and golf. As always Ladies and Gentlemen you make the call.

Stud or Dud ?

We'll be right back after this word from our sponsor.

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Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen. Our next contestant comes to us from the sunny state of Florida by way of The U.S. Army and The U.S. House of Representatives. His hobbies include showing Black boys how to be men , defending his country , killing Jihadis , and riding his Harley.

Stud or Dud audience?

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Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen. Our third contestant comes to us from the city of Belmont in The People's Republic Of Taxachussets. His hobbies incude being a corporate raider , firing people , smearing his political opponents and forcing people to buy products they don't want.

Stud or Dud audience?

It's that time again folks.

Becuase everbody likes to play " Vulture Cpaitalist " sometimes.

Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen. Our fourth and final contestant for today's game comes to us from the great state of Georgia by way of The U.S. House Of Representatives, The Conservative Movement and Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. I don't think I need to tell you what his hobbies are.

Stud or Dud audience?

Marriage is a wonderful thing. Our sponsor thinks so too. Yes yes I know that was sneaky. I am Queen Yes Dear of The Great And Mighty Cracker Nation. I didn't get that position by not knowing how to be sneaky when called for. We'll be back momentarily.

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Well Ladies and gentlemen that concludes our inaugural episode of " Stud or Dud " . We hope you enjoyed it . This is Queen Yes Dear inviting you all back for next week's show. Until then Ladies may all the gentlemen in your lives be studsn and Gentlemen may all the Ladies in your lives be your very own Queen Yes Dear. God knows you all need one.